torachan: (Default)
hi megchan! takuyachan here ,a request.can u trnslate mysong in romaji 4me? coz i wan2 per4m it



Please tell me the artist name.


No no i hv written the song n want u 2 help me trnslate it


hey i hv written the song
i want u 2 help me translatin da song i've written ....well wat's ur cell no


Sorry, I can't do that.


but why?
but i promised my frenz ...that i'll get it trnslated 4m sum1 .canU atleast tellme where i can find

"But why?" indeed.

And then it was filter-to-trash time.
torachan: (asshat)
Why do people think being rude is going to make me do their lyrics request faster? Yeah, it does suck that there's a year-long waiting list for translation requests, but bitching about it when I tell you when your request will be added is not going to make me say fuck those other people, I'll do yours first. It's going to make me filter you to the trash and not do your request at all.


Sep. 5th, 2008 03:54 am
torachan: (cry me a river)
There's nothing worse than entitled assholes who request lyrics. (Well, there are, clearly, but you know what I mean.)

The other day I got an email from some kid who said he needed me to translate a song for a school assignment that he had to complete to be able to go to university. He needed it done within two weeks, so that he could work on his analysis of it or something.

I wrote back, politely at first, and said that I had too long of a requests list and wouldn't be able to do it, and why didn't he choose a song that had already been translated.

He wrote back again saying that this song had a mix of English and Japanese and loanwords, which is what he needed in a song (dude, this describes almost every single Japanese song), and could I at least have it done by the end of the year.

I wrote back again, saying, still no, and added "I'm not going to do your homework for you". Which is clearly what he was asking. Even if his assignment wasn't to translate the song itself (which I'm not even sure of), if he was supposed to find a song to analyse, then fuck if I'm going to find the song for him, you know? There are thousands of translated songs online, both on my site and on others.

So then tonight he writes back again, all angry and capslock in many places, insulting me and claiming I'm keeping him from going to university by not helping him, and saying that it's so hard to find people who will help you, or at least say no in a friendly manner (and again, I was very polite at first, and even in my second email, I was polite (I don't think saying "I'm not going to do your homework for you" is in any way impolite, and if it's unfriendly then whatever), and then he tops it off by suggesting that I take down the part on my site where it says I take requests. Whatever, kid, the world does not revolve around you. I do take requests, and many people are willing to wait their turn, even though it is currently a very, very long list.

So I wrote back again, told him there were thousands of songs to choose from, corrected him about the fact that just because I wasn't willing to bend myself out of shape taking his special request that didn't mean I wasn't taking requests from people who understand the meaning of first come, first served, and ended with telling him to fuck off (if you already think I'm impolite and unfriendly...), then filtered him into the trash in case he writes back.
torachan: (Default)
Okay, so I'm participating in a lyrics contest in which people translate a certain song. Just now I got a submission from someone who apparently thinks they're sooooo smart. One look at it and it's obvious it's just been run through Google or Babelfish (turned out to be Google; I ran it through and got the exact same results). The main tip-off, other than the excreble results, is that there are still random bits of Japanese text scattered throughout the song!

How stupid do you have to be to think this is a good idea? I mean, I wrote back to them saying I couldn't accept a machine translation, but even if I had, did they really think they had a chance of winning? Even the worst translation done by a human being would still be better, since, you know, it wouldn't have random Japanese left in!

I can't post the whole thing or the original lyrics, because of the contest rules, but here's a few snippets that are especially good:

"逆らいwent out of the wind vane in 1000"

"largest solar wings hammer and punch out Yuke"

"All-scratching a living in the moment erase TETAI"


Apr. 10th, 2008 12:53 am
torachan: (Default)
Oh my WHAT.

There is going to be a live action movie (make that two, actually) of Akira.


Seriously. It is going to be moved to New York and Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are going to be playing the roles of Kaneda and Tetsuo. Who are not only, as you might guess from the names, supposed to be Japanese. But are also TEENAGERS. Leonardo DiCaprio is in his early '30s. I thought Gordon-Levitt was at least ten years younger than that, but no, apparently even he is 27. So WTF, man.

This is so much worse than the Dragonball or Speed Racer movies. Dragonball...I think is pretty wacked to be all white, but at least the story is set in some mythical land (the earthlings are named things like Bulma, Trunks, and Mr Satan, which are not exactly Japanese names, after all) and most characters are aliens anyway. And of course Speed Racer was made American when it was dubbed in the '60s or whenever, so you could say they're just making a live-action film of the already-American dub version.


And I really, really hope the characters are not still called Kaneda and Tetsuo while being played by some white guys, because that is fucked up. And yet, it is equally fucked up to make them all-new characters. There is just no way to escape the fail.




Mar. 28th, 2008 12:58 am
torachan: (Default)
This site is the best thing ever, seriously. You will get sucked into the crazy and not be able to stop reading.

"I have so much to teach you, but you ignore me you evil asses. You will recognize 4 corner Days or incur Easter Island Ending."

"Never a Genius knew Math to achieve my Cubic Wisdom."

"Seek in haste to attend a lecture by Dr. Gene Ray, Cubic and Wisest Human - His Wisdom is Awesome."

"You SnotBrains will know hell for ignoring TimeCube. I do not promote or suggest anyone killing you, but you are unfit to live on Earth."

"Santa & God debase women as if non-existing opposites."

"Dr. Gene Ray offers Wikipedia $10,000.00 to disprove math that 1 rotation of 4 Earth quadrants within the 4 quarter Harmonic Time Cube does create 4 simultaneous 24 hr. days. Who edits the Time Cube on Wikipedia? It is evil for Coryoth to edit Time Cube."

"Mathematically impossible for a Genius or any God to match my Cubic Wisdom. Educators fear me, they cower and run."

"God claimed to have created a single day rotation of Earth. I have created simultaneous 4 day rotation of Earth. Why do you worship such a stupid God? Do you really believe that your Jew God screwed a hole in the ground to create Adam and Eve out of dirt, at the same time that woman existed in the nation of NOD, Nation of Damsels from where Cain got wife?"

"I am not allowed to lecture at the word animal academic institutions, for they fear my wisdom will expose and indict the pedant hirelings as betrayers of dumb-ass students - the dung heads who allow their freedom of speech to be suppressed without a whimper, unbelieveable. Word animals will feel the wrath of Cubic curse."

Also, you have to imagine all these quotes in gigantic bold multi-colored font, with random underlining.

Seriously, that is only a tiiiiiiiiiny fragment of the crazy.

And remember, "Ignoring Time Cube is Evil."
torachan: (Default)
Apparently my previous post is mocking and mean, and I've been told not to comment on the post itself. God forbid anyone have different opinions. And my horrible, offensive comments in the post? One of them was saying I found it sad that another commenter didn't trust people who wouldn't touch her. Oh no. So horrible of me to suggest someone shouldn't be prejudiced against people who don't like touching as much as she does.

ETA: Am not annoyed anymore, but I really wish people would label their posts in some way so as to make it obvious what kind of post they are, because I hate it when I'm reading something as "interesting discussion" and they meant it as something else entirely (in this case, perhaps "talk therapy" or something).
torachan: (Default)
So I'm selling a lot of Maple Town/Sylvanian Families dolls and furniture and for some reason when trying to list it, I kept getting an error message telling me "Your listing cannot contain javascript (".cookie", "cookie(", "replace(", IFRAME, META, or includes), cookies or base href."

Well, of course I had no javascript in it, nor any cookies or hrefs. I tried all sorts of stuff. First I tried cancelling that listing and starting over from scratch. Then I tried c&ping my text into a plaintext editor and back into the window. Then I tried their "live help" chat and the guy was completely unhelpful. Then I started taking out chunks of the description to see what was triggering it. There's a lot of text, so it took a while.

Eventually I found that the trigger was "Fireplace (lights up, but needs new battery)". Oh yeah, that sounds like javascript, cookies, or href to me! WTF!? So I changed it to "Light-up fireplace (needs new battery)" and it went through. It's taken me a couple hours to get this one listing up, between writing down everything in the lot and then this stupidity. Argh!
torachan: (Default)
Okay, I've seen wank before about holiday exchanges and how they can't participate because they don't celebrate Christmas or whatever, but this takes the cake.

Someone accuses the Yuletide mods of an anti-Semitic conspiracy because signups opened on a Jewish holiday and thus she not only couldn't sign up right away, but didn't even hear about it for three! whole! days! Never mind that signups last two weeks or that if she'd bothered to friend the comm like anyone with a brain*, she'd see daily posts about signing up. No, she couldn't put on her persecution pants that way.

Also, this is actually funny (as opposed to much of the FW post, which consists of more religion wanking).

*Isn't that the first thing you do when there's a challenge or ficathon you want to participate in? I find that's generally the best way to keep on top of things.


Jul. 9th, 2007 11:06 pm
torachan: (Default)
So, back in December I decided I really wanted to read Invader Zim fic (all [ profile] chaya's fault). Unfortunately the fandom pretty much exists only on There are a couple of LJ comms, but rather than posting fic there, people just link to FFN, so I figured why bother with those, just go straight to the source.

I once read Zim fic there before, back when there were probably less than a hundred fics. Now, even after filtering out all incomplete stories, I'm still left with fifty-one pages to sort through.

I got up to page 18 and just couldn't go on. So many fics were super angsty and all about dying and suicide and emo wangst and it's just crazy. I don't know why everyone seems dead set on writing completely out-of-place fic for this fandom... Anyway, I decided to just filter for stuff marked humor, which gave me 17 pages total, 6 of which I'd already gone through the first time. I managed to get through two more pages and then decided to narrow the search even further, to just stuff featuring GIR.

I already have two that I read back in December, which have been sitting in my reviews file ever since, waiting for me to get up the courage to go back again... This time I'm not reading as I go, just bookmarking, and will probably do a Zim set after whatever fandom I read next (which looks to be HP so far by the votes).

I bookmarked ten fics total out of probably about four or five hundred that I looked through? Pretty sad. I'm not really that hopeful that I'll find many threes, much less fours and fives. But I would really love good fic in this fandom and I guess this is my only chance of finding any. :(

Meanwhile, here's a sampling of some of the worst summaries I came across on my travels.

Song fic to Def Leppard!? )
torachan: (Default)
Subtitle: God, why do I do this to myself?

I got an email yesterday asking for lyrics and translations of several Ellegarden songs.

All of which were already on my site.

So I emailed back, telling him so, and suggesting he might want to actually, you know, look at the site in future before making requests (less likely to annoy me and less likely to come off looking like a moron - two birds with one stone!).

He emailed back this evening, asking for Shounan Kaze. He made it sound like an Ellegarden song. I was pretty sure I had their entire discography, but I poked around Wikipedia just in case. Sure enough, no such song. So I checked to see if it's another artist. Yep. Sure is.

So I asked him if he meant the artist, explained there was no such Ellegarden song. He emailed back saying yes, he meant the band. Could I add "their song jurenka. And some of their other songs too". The song in question is actually Junrenka, but whatever. I told him to please be more specific if he wanted other songs. He said "all their albums". Which is, admittedly, more specific, but still annoying. He also complained that it was "a long time" when I said his request wouldn't be added til November (though now that he changed his request to albums, it's been bumped up to December 31st and January 6th).

And yet despite all this, I did in fact find and bookmark the songs for two of their albums (the third, I could only find half the lyrics for, so I told him I couldn't find any lyrics for it).

Did I mention Shounan Kaze are rap?

I think I deserve an award.

(PS. I don't know why I have tags for "lyrics" and "stupid" when the lyrics posts are inevitably about stupid requesters...)

Oh, people

May. 22nd, 2007 08:34 pm
torachan: (Default)
A recent translation request, presented for your amusement. Formatting is as close to the original as I could get it.

translated these somg 4 me plz n ty

Aa! FIRST KISS and Aa! masyiume

torachan: (Default)
Yash forwarded me this post today from one of her adoption groups. The title of the post was "My first bad racial experience...."

Before I begin, I would like to stress that this is in no way meant to offend anyone. I am simply expressing what happened to me today and how I handled the situation. I may have handled it totally wrong, but this is how I dealt with it. I would, however, like to hear if others have experienced this type of situation.

I went to day care to pick up my 20-month old daughter today only to find her and a little African-American girl as the last two children left in her class. What infuriated me was the fact that the teacher had put my daughter's hair in two ponytail holders on top of her head looking very much like what the African-American child was wearing.

Now, the "ponytails" were not centered in the front like most parents style their China babies' hair and were not on the sides like the typical "ponytails" that Caucasian girls wear. I fully suspect that they were styling her hair to match that of the other little girl. It certainly looked the same.

First of all, I have not given them permission to do anything with my child's hair. Second, if I had wanted her to look AA, I would have adopted an AA baby. Third, I do not know where the ponytail holders were before being placed in my daughter's hair. I was livid.

I told the director that I did not appreciate it one bit and made it
very clear that my child is Chinese (Asian-American) not AA. She claimed that she did not think it was racially motivated, but the teacher was not there to explain her actions. I told her that in no way was she to allow anything like that again.

When I told my mom about it, she totally understood. However, I told my sister, and she did not see the problem. Her daughters are fair, blond headed, and blue-eyed girls and could never be mistaken or otherwise accused of being AA. My daughter, on the other hand, has olive skin and black eyes. Granted she is not dark, but I have already had AAs think she is also AA (still don't understand why).

I am not asking for validation or telling me what I did was right or wrong, but I am looking for answers. Are people that stupid, or are they that cruel? I like to think that people are generally good, but this makes me wonder.

Me: LOL! OMG love the story about African-American ponytails. Somehow I think it's not the daycare who's racist.
Yash: someone posted
Yash: Yes, your daughter did have her first bad racial experience
Yash: and it was from mom
Yash: I was like ouch
Yash: but how right
Me: Hahaha
Yash: does she think her daughter is white?
Me: I don't know what she thinks, except she doesn't want her daughter mistaken for those blacks with their special ponytails.


Do I have a "stupid" tag? If not, I should make one.

In other news, Yash and I are getting together with friends from elementary school on Sunday. Should be interesting.


Nov. 1st, 2006 05:20 am
torachan: (Default)
Okay, man. If you have a romaji lyrics site, please, for the love of God, learn Japanese.

I went there to check something on Tokyo Jihen's Service lyrics because in order to get the lyrics on uta-net, I'd have to type in Japanese in JWPce and then c&p in the search bar, so it's easier to use a site with the name in English. But God, that site just seriously makes me ragey whenever I go there.

Okay, yes. Because Japanese does not put spaces between words and is an agglutinative language, there are many times when there are multiple ways you could split things up when writing in roman letters. However, that does not mean that there is never any right way. Splitting up a single word in the middle, for example, is just not on. You can't say that 体 is "kara da" or "ka rada" any more than you can say body is "bo dy". It just doesn't work that way. Sorry.

So I don't care how much you say in your FAQ that your unique special way of romanising is correct and no one should correct you, it's wrong.

朝飯前 is either asameshi mae or asameshimae. It is not asame shimae!!! If you are providing romanised lyrics, then the purpose of them is either for people to be able to sing along, or for them to try and translate them themselves when they can't read Japanese. In either case, they are going to be thrown off by words split up strangely. Asame shimae is pronounced differently than asameshimae. And if they tried to look up those two words in the dictionary, they'd get no results at all and make up something strange like "dying the cow's butt red" (actual mistranslation from another song).

And 超現実主義 is chougenjitsu shugi. Or you could run it all together if you like, since it is indeed run together in Japanese. However, it's a compound made up from two words: chougenjitsu and shugi. NOT chougen and jitsushugi. That's nonsense.

Oh my God, I should just stop looking, but I keep finding more and more mistakes. シュールレアリスム is shuururearisumu. How do you get shuururu arisumu from that? Not only is it misspelt, but it shows you know absolutely nothing about Japanese because the damn word is surrealism, which is clearly only one word.

Jesus. If you don't know at least basic Japanese, don't run a fucking lyrics site.
torachan: (Default)
Someone emailed me today asking for the lyrics to a Sailor Moon song. I was unable to find Japanese lyrics for it anywhere, so as a last resort, I looked to see if I could find romaji lyrics.

I found this. Wow. Really horrid romaji. I can tell what she means and could reconstruct it properly, but when it's that bad, I don't trust them not to have left something out completely, so I emailed the girl back and asked if she had an mp3 I could listen to.

She didn't have an mp3, but she linked me to this video on youtube. Apparently the song is from the live-action Sailor Moon. That clip kind of makes me scared of fansubs. The portion of the song that's translated is almost entirely wrong.

And yet, it's still miles better than the translation included on the site I linked to. That one is so painfully wrong, it's like that that girl with the really bad Arashi translation (which I see she's now taken down, though ahahaha, she's written a song in Japanese and it's wretched, plus wtf, she can't even romanise her own lyrics correctly? Did she just run it through babelfish to get it or what?).

I looked at the webmaster's profile and she's eighteen and has taken Japanese in high school and now is studying it in college, but she hasn't a clue. I mean, I'm not even sure where she got a lot of her translations. Obviously she has no concept of Japanese grammar and verb conjugations and such, but surely even just looking up words in the dictionary should have given better results than this.

Even though this should technically not be uploaded until Sunday's update, I've gone ahead and done so, just so you can compare. Here's the romaji and translation.

I think my favorite bits are:

"I have a little bit of bad cream to cover
your smiling face's shine"

which should be:

"I didn't really like whipped cream
But with your smile, I was able to eat it"


"You say there's no special reason
Why is the wind around you warm?"

which should be:

"There's no special reason
But for some reason I could be myself with you"

There's not a single line in that song that's translated correctly. I'm not even talking possible alternate meanings or wordings. It's just wrong, wrong, wrong. And yet she has sixty-three "translations" up on her site, complete with a long rant about people stealing and how she'll be forced to take legal action.


Jul. 14th, 2006 04:55 pm
torachan: (Default)
Cori and Julie, you were looking for another Ego-sensei...?

On [ profile] jpop_uploads, someone posted a BoA fandmade remix album. I clicked on the site's link and was surprised to see Japanese. My first thought, "oh, they're a Japanese team of remixers". Then I actually read the text and saw that it's just gibberish. Either they've run their site through babelfish or one or more of them are like, first year Japanese students (or self-taught) and have translated it word by word from a dictionary...

Yeah, so. You'll look omg cool and hardcore!! to the majority of people who come to the site, sure. But there are, in fact, actual Japanese people on the internet, and people who do actually speak Japanese, hard as that may be to believe, and to them you look utterly stupid.

It would be one thing if the site was in English and they'd translated it into Japanese in order to have a Japanese version of the site. But it's primarily in Japanese (not that there's a lot of text to begin with) and the intent is obviously to look cool and Japanese.


I should make a tag for stupid.

Speaking of stupid, there's a new [ profile] babb_chronicles and one of the first snippets is Lilyella. There's also this:

Dear Remus. My husband. My mate. My lover. My heart. My chosen one. My savior. My sin.
Harry James Lupin-Potter. Your pregnant husband.

Oh badfic, never change.


Jul. 13th, 2006 03:56 am
torachan: (Default)
Okay...this is possibly the weirdest and most annoying person I've ever had request lyrics.

wtf... )

So there's your daily dose of wtf.

ETA: And here's the response... the wild fang request is my younger
1st he ask me to ask u usin my mail, n then after he know the long
wait, he thought that by many wild fang request u will quicken the time
to add wild fang...i think its up to u....i think its better in really sorry 4 the inconvinence...


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