shut up and let me see your jazz hands

Merry Christmas, zillah975!

Title: The Kindness of Strangers
Length: ~500 words
fanfic100 prompt: Snow
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: Thanks to helens78 for the beta. For zillah975's request of "Snowy!Ewan, Christmas Eve, with Jude, preferably happy ending (or at least pointed that way)".
Summary: Lying face-down in the snow for what must be the fiftieth time today alone, Ewan finds himself beginning to question the wisdom of blowing his entire paycheque on a ski holiday in France when he can't fucking ski.

( It's just that skiing had always *looked* so easy when he saw it on the telly. )

Title: Discovery
Length: ~200 words
Rating: R
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: Hungry!Ewan, as requested by rawiyaparand here.
fanfic100 prompt: Lunch
Summary: Jude can't concentrate on blowing Ewan when his stomach's that loud.

( It was one thing to hear rumblings and gurglings when he had his mouth to Ewan's belly as he fumbled with his fly. Hardly the first time he's heard stomach noises at a time like this, after all. But when it's become the loudest sound in the room, though, reminding Jude just why stomachs are said to growl - because it sounds like there's something fucking alive in there - well, that's another story altogether. )

Title: Knowing
Length: ~300 words
Rating: G
Pairing: Jude Law/Ewan McGregor
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: irish_channel requested another dad!Ewan fic.
fanfic100 prompt: Birth
Summary: Set in the same universe as these other fics. They're both Andy's dads, regardless of whose genes he has.

( When Andy is born, he doesn't look like anyone. Well, except every other baby. Ewan's pretty sure he wouldn't be able to pick him out of a lineup, and if someone were to switch babies on them, they'd never suspect. )

Title: Awkward Conversations
Length: ~600 words
Rating: G
Pairing: Jude Law/Ewan McGregor
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: chaya requested "Something Jude/Ewan, and cute children asking them uncomfortable questions" (though there's only one child, and no actual Jude in the fic, but still!).
fanfic100 prompt: Purple
Summary: Set in the same universe as these other fics. Andy asks difficult questions.

( It's hot. A fucking oven. That's all Ewan is thinking when he pulls his shirt off over his head and tosses it on the sofa. It's only the shocked gasp from behind him and the thud and fizz of Andy's Coke hitting the floor that remind him why he was wearing a shirt in the first place. )

Title: Dinnertime
Length: ~200 words
Rating: G
Pairing: Jude Law/Ewan McGregor
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: Dad!Ewan, as requested by saxony in the 10 Jude/Ewans meme.
fanfic100 prompt: Family
Summary: Vignette set in the same universe as these two ficlets, an AU in which Jude and Ewan have a son called Andy.

( Jude cracks open his beer and cocks his head. ''Did you hear something?'' )

Title: Deadline
Author: kyuuketsukirui
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jude Law/Ewan McGregor
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Length: ~2200 words
fanfic100 Prompt: Where?
Notes: Thanks to angelacaduca for the very last minute beta! Written for the dooooooom challenge with the tabboo of co-worker relations and the prompts "test, final, complete, absolute". This Ewan was inspired by the bit in Long Way Round where he says he should have been an office boy.
Summary: AU. Ewan's deadline gets pushed up and Jude is assigned to help him finish the project.

( Ewan takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He hasn't done anything wrong. After all, it's not like he clicked on the message; it was just right there in the preview pane. And it was Law who'd left himself logged in. )

Title: Anywhere but Here
Length: ~300 words
Rating: R
Pairing: Jude Law/Rachel Weisz, one-sided Ewan McGregor/Jude Law
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: Jealous!Jude, as requested by matildabj in the 10 Jude/Ewans meme.
fanfic100 prompt: Lovers
Summary: Flatmates era (early 90s). Ewan walks in on Jude and Rachel.

( But it's just what you say to girls, isn't it? What gets them into bed. Or onto the sofa, as the case may be. It's not like Jude means it. He can't. )

Title: Hangover
Length: ~300 words
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: Knackered-and-hungover!Jude, as requested by almostnever in the 10 Jude/Ewans meme.
fanfic100 prompt: Green
Summary: Jude is very, very hungover. As is Ewan.

( The bathroom greets him with the acrid smell of vomit and Ewan's snoring. )

Title: Wet
Length: ~500 words
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is absolutely, 100% not true.
Notes: Wet!Ewan, as requested by pseudoblu in the 10 Jude/Ewans meme.
fanfic100 prompt: Water
Summary: Flatmates era (early 90s) AU. Ewan locks himself out in the rain.

( His jeans are harder to get off, sticking to his skin and catching on his feet, and it's only when he's bending down to peel off his socks that he realises he's starkers in the middle of the hallway and Jude is just standing there. )

I just posted a new bit of This Dangerous but Irresistible Pastime (my Judewan whorefic AU, for those who might be out of the loop) over here. It's got its very own comm and everything, which you can join if you like. I am typically slow about updating it, though.